I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
