the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
