Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
