I'm so fucking centered right now
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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