I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Randomize
