Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
