the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
