is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
