Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
