so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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