There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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