I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
