the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
