are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I take back everything I said about communal showers
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
