So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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