My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
