so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
