do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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