New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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