She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
