Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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