so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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