Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
God I need to hump something, right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize