Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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