If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
