Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize