Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
