There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize