ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
