so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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