xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im holly from the hills drunk
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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