You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
