Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
