i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
