Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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