the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think my moral compass just broke
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
