I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
