I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
