Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
