He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
