porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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