big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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