chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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