My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
