Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
