Whod you bang
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
