i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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