this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
