She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
