just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
