We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
