He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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