Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
