you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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