my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
