why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just forgot I was standing up.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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