Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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