I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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