Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
