My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My feet surprised me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
