some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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