just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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